Filed under: General
When I married my wife, I also got her daughter – a bounding, white, eternal-puppy Lab.
I have come to call her my dog too, which is very nice.
She has taught me a few things that -surprisingly- I have found to be very wise:
- Approach everything with childlike enthusiasm.
- Use your enthusiasm wisely. Too much of it can have the opposite effect.
- Always bring a gift.
- Know when to submit, know when to dominate.
- Get a good run in every day, it is good for you and helps you sleep.
- Always stop before crossing the street and wait until it is safe to do so.
- Try and be good at just one thing. Even if that one thing is Frisbee.
- When meeting strangers in the street, cut to the chase and sniff their crotches. (I don’t do this one so much)
- If you have to go, never just pee in the street. Find a hiding place. Same goes for poop.
- Be polite yet wary of unannounced callers.
- Always wait until it’s polite to eat.
- Don’t lick your genitals in front of other people.
- Be curious.
- Just because vomit may still smell like food, it’s still vomit.
- Know when others want to play, know when others want stillness.
- If you can, go for a nice stroll around the block in the lovely night air just before bed. It helps your dinner settle, maybe moves a few things around in the bowel department, and will leave you in a good headspace to go to bed.
- Radiate love and affection. Others will wear it like a cologne all day long.
x aa
