While I’m busy making the photos happen from BDO Mellbourne, allow me to share the best joke that I heard backstage…

Q: What’s the difference between Emo grass on your lawn and normal grass on your lawn?

A: Emo grass cuts itself.

xx aa

Ok, just quickly –
A few photographic highlights from the Goldy (the best BDO there is).
I’ll write more soon…

Just quickly.
Spoon these into your brain and let them sink in.
A quick list that I may put to you for perusal…

Get there early for Airborne, they’re fucking great; see also Wolfmother, Magic Dirt, Mudvayne, Beasts of Bourbon, Henry Rollins, The Mars Volta, Franz Ferdinand, Iggy Pop and the Stooges (just fucking incredible, and Mike Watt on Bass. Wiki him. He’s a GOD.) Common, Common, Common, COMMON!!

more soon.

xx aa

If you’re heading to the BDO on the Goldy, be aware that it’s a mudbath and you may need appropriate footwear.
It’s also going to be super duper hot.

Here’s my tips…

Beasts of Bourbon – Tex in Angry mode

M.I.A. – The future of hip hop (and she’s HOT too)

Iggy and the Stooges – Mike “minutemen/fIREHOSE” Watt on Bass. Yeeeeeeaah

Cut Copy – All the cute girls dance to cut copy

Franz Ferdinand – Lots of fun

Wolfmother – awesome but watch out for drunken beefed up men who want to fight in the crowd.

Soulwax/2 Many DJ’s – Dance your arse off.

Common – Also the future of hip hop.

Henry Rollins – Listen to what this man has to say.

Have fun. Look after yourself, be aware of others, and how your fun may impede on their fun.
xx a

Ok, this is going to sound very weird and schmoofter to a lot of you, and many reading this will be of the opinion that I’m a downright pansy, but I thought I’d put it out there.

I was around at my ex’s last night, cooking her dinner while she lay on the couch, as she’s up the duff with and not moving around much.
I was working up some French Lentil and Brown Rice magic in the kitchen, and I was getting stuck into the garlic basket, putting heaps of garlic in the wok. When I chucked the garlic back in the basket, a little cockroach scurried out from underneath it, across the bench.

Something came over me. I don’t know if it was because her fiancée was out of the house, and she needed protection, or because I know that every baby roach can multiply into a few hundred by the time they’ve reached adulthood and her baby doesn’t need to be crawling around with roaches everywhere, but my fist flew down and squashed the little creature as it tried to flee.

All at once, I felt horrid to the bone, screaming sorry at it’s mashed little carcass.

I said to my ex, “You’ve got roaches!”, to which she replied “of course I do, it’s Bondi!”.

Well I moved the little garlic basket back to where it belongs by the knife block thingy, and what do you know, I guess they smelled it in the air, but all my little victim’s mates came scurrying out from underneath it. I’m talking like twenty little black creatures, and a big mother one with an egg sac mid-laying.

It was like the final scene in Aliens. I was Ripley, my Ex was Newt, and that roach was the mother.
It was death from above. Like a US carpet-bombing of the Cambodian hills, I grabbed some paper towelling and mercilessly ended the lives of about twenty of God’s creatures.
With every strike, I was whispering sorry, and in fact repelling in horror to the carnage I was bringing on this little family of things who had been just trying to get by under the garlic basket in her kitchen, yet I kept squashing, full of bloodlust. The smell of their crushed little bodies filled my nostrils, and all the time a massive rising of horrid guilt was building in me for breaking the Buddhist Precept of not harming other creatures.

Yet I kept squashing. All those years training on Galaga have given me excellent reflexes, and not one of them was left alive. Like the Mai Lai massacre, I went appliance-to-appliance, lifting the toaster, kettle, blender and knife block to systematically eliminate them wherever they hid.

I can’t stop thinking about it .

I am the horror, like Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now.

Sorry little roachies.
I’m praying to the universe for forgiveness.
I’m doing lots of good Karma things to try and balance stuff out.
I’ve got a lot to balance out after that.

xx andrew