I swear. I used to own about ten pairs of underpants. Mainly because when I travel, I can get by with the same jeans for a month, the same five t-shirts too, but you gotta have fresh boxers. I did an audit today, and now – there’s two left. Where are they? Why did they leave me? Where do underpants go when they disappear? x a

The other night, my mate was out at a club in town, a nice club, an exclusive club, a very posh club. An hour into having a laugh and dancing a bit, she starts to feel woozy. What do you know, a seedy guy appears out of nowhere and starts with the whole “You don’t look so good sweety..why don’t we go outside for some fresh air” bullshit. Thank the stars she was with a mate who told the guy where he could go, and grabbed my friend and got her out of there. My mate spent the next eight hours on the floor of her friends’ hotel room, awake, yet paralyzed – unable so speak or move, yet aware of everything that was going on. Her mates looked after her until the drugs had passed her by.
What kind of guy does this? What parent lets their son grow up to have that view of women? The view that he must dominate, in such a cowardly fashion, a total stranger. This stuff is so not cool. It makes me sick to my stomach that I live in a city where over the past three years of my life, five girls I know have had their drinks spiked. Four of them made it out of the club in time. One wasn’t so lucky. You think that she’s not affected to this day by what happened to her that night, and what that horrific monster of a guy did to her while she was drugged up?
In case you’re a guy and I have to break it down for you – spiking drinks is bad. It’s dangerous, is stupid, it’s cruel, and you could kill someone. How funny would that be?
If you’re the kind of person that’s thinking that spiking drinks isn’t that bad, please get help. Talk to someone before you hurt anybody.

If you’re a girl that it’s happened to, please, seek help and tell the cops. With CCTV in every nook and cranny of clubs these days, it’s not too hard to find the guy that did it. If you don’t go to the cops, there will be more girls like you who will not be so lucky as to get away unharmed.
If you’re a guy who knows someone that does this – do everything in your power to help them, even if it means reporting them to the cops. Mates are one thing, but if you know of a crime and do nothing about it, you’re just as guilty in the eyes of the law.

Crikey. Stay safe, drink safe. Watch the barman mix your drink, keep it in your hands, never put it down, and if you’ve left it on a table, then turned around or something, leave it. Seriously. We can all still have fun, we just have to be careful.

xx andrewg

So I’ve been getting heaps of email about my anti-xmas post. Did you read all of it? Short version – I love the season, I love the family love involved, I’ll jump through flaming hoops on a saddled-up jack russel terrier to be with my family and show them how much I love them this time of year. I just firmly believe – that feeling of joy should not be for sale. That’s it. Relax. I’m no humbug, I just can’t stand the XMA$ SALE!! of it all.
It’s late at night, I’ve just finished DJing at a function. However I got a call last night from my dear friend who had her drink spiked the other night. I’m too tired and angry to go into detail, but if you thought the XMA$ post was cranky, wait til you see what I write tomorrow. Until then, stay safe, only drink from bottles, and love your dearest ones today for they may not be there tomorrow. xx a

So it was with much distress that I past the big-haired woman walking her dog, Cerebus, jumped in my car and headed up and across the river Styx (Bondi Road on a weekend), past the City of Dis (Bondi Junction), and following a brief struggle with a Minatour (the parking guy), I came unto the 7th plane of Hell, Westfield at Christmas time.

After spending a decent thirty minutes cruising behind three cars creeping along at 2km/h in the car park (you’re not going to find one buddy, just head to sub-level six where Ripley and Newt are waiting with a spot for you), I jump out of my car to have my ears blasted with an abysmal noise. No, it wasn’t the sound of tortured souls being torn limb from limb by fallen angels before being thrown into flaming sepulchres, it was the sound of Christmas Carols being blasted through the crappy ‘bought them off the beer garden’ speakers on every pole in the car park.

‘In Exelcis Deo’? Yeah right. ‘In Exelcis your credit card’ more like it.
I was just looking back at last year’s posts about Christmas and yeah I get like this all the time. I just get so dirty that Christmas is SO for sale. And I’m not even Christian! I don’t get the whole idea of SELLING the birthday of the believed saviour of a bunch of people is a reason to buy a bigger TV. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing my friends and family at this time of year, and few things are as important to me as taking time out to be thankful of what great gifts we have been given (freedom from opression, clean water out of the tap, democracy, a beautiful country to look after). However the thought that a blender or DVD recorder will bring salvation to your family is beyond me.

I started texting my Dad and Brother to ask their thoughts. I want to prank Westfield and see what happens. I’m going to sneak in at night, and change all the Christmas Carols to Ramadan Prayer Calls. I’m going to take down all the mangers and trees and reindeers and replace them with some shiny looking Mosque gear. I’m going to take all the couches out of shopping centres and replace them with prayer mats. Then when the doors open the next day, we’ll see how other folks feel about such oppressive religious symbolism.
How about instead of mangers, I sneak in and build little temples of Jerusalem and all the stores have to use oil lamps that don’t go out for eight days instead of Christmas lights, and have ‘The Chanukah Song’ on loop tape in there all day. Think the folks in the ‘burbs would dig that?

Whew. I’m ok now.
It’s not that I’m not about the season. Though it’s not my bag, I have utmost respect and reverence for Christmas and what it’s about and what it means to people who believe in it. Hell, I’m pretty much Buddhist and I still get tingly on Christmas eve when I’m with my family and we’re all eating and having a laugh and passing gifts given with love to each other. I’m all about it. I can’t stomach the Xmas. I can’t stand that it’s for sale. I have massive problems with the overt religious symbolism associated with it all. But hey – if you’ve ever spent this time of year around someone who’s five years old, you’ll be whipping that plastic out and buying the biggest Malibu Barbie Home or Castle Greyskull you can lay your hands on because the joy in their eyes is enough to get you through the carparks/shopping trolleys in the ankle/screaming mothers/sprukiers pimping you amex cards/disinterested 15year olds in santa hats at the checkouts/etc.

I’ve got to go do my dishes.

xx andrewgthatguyfromv@yahoo.com

Welcome to the new blog. Great to have you here. Thanks so much for all of your emails. Understandably, I’ve been a bit flat out, and will, as promised fill you all in on the last few weeks. Now that this is up I’m able to post much more recgularly. Massive thanks must go to Michael Merlin (yeah how cool is his name) who is hosting for me. He and I went to ‘Rockschool’ together last century. He played in a metal band and woudl let me borrow his amp when my band was kicking off. Thanks for then, and thanks for now. Surf is good today, however my face hurts from copping my board in the chin trying to stop someone from getting split in two by me in the shore break yesterday. Split me open. I felt very tough walking home with blood dripping down my face. Tonight I’m DJ’ing at my friends’ party. I’m going to play ‘Dead Kennedys’ Too Drunk to F***. Cool. More soon. xx andrewgthatguyfromv@yahoo.com

Hey, welcome to my new blog site! Got the hosting sorted, and a desktop app to make it easier. Much to talk about. Hoff, Arias, Madonna, The Darkness, break-ups, and the joy of Brazillian Breakfast food. Won’t be long, promise.. xx andrewgthatguyfromv@yahoo.com