It’s been a long lonely lonely lonley time..

So it’s been quite some time. Sorry about that. I’ve been somewhat busy. Was lucky enough to be sent to New York to interview a bunch of movie guys for XXX2 last week. Y’know how we like to talk to people on [v] right? Pretty one on one, these guys weren’t having a bar of it. They were soundbyte machines, only talking about the film and it was all over in five minutes flat. Crazy! I got flown across the world for thirty five minutes of chatting. But hey, if they want me to do that, I will! Managed to run in Central Park every morning – it’s pretty awesome in the early morning let me tell you. I was chasing squirrels around and looking at all the blossoms – it’s a very pretty place surrounded on all sides by concrete streets. The food in NYC is something else. Veganism in North America started in Greenwich village, so there’s plenty of restaurants around. The best part of the whole trip hands down was the Scrabble I played in Washington square Park . Y’know that scene in Harry met Sally where Sally picks up Harry in the Car under the big arch? That’s it. Anyway, in the south west corner of the park, every day when the weather’s ok, a few people just sit there all day playing Scrabble, taking on all comers. I have read about these people in the Stefan Fatsis book ‘Word Freak’, and next thing you know I’m playing scrabble against them. It was a spiritual pilgrimage for me let me tell you! To be throwing down tiles with Emily the retires school teacher, and Jim the piano player who knows every Bingo (seven letter word) on Earth, and Donovan from Queens who sang the entire Breakfast Club soundtrack while we played – it was truly something else.

We’ve started Idol already, and Jim and I had to do some Judging. It was pretty heavy crushing dreams but it was also very uplifting hearing people sing from their heart.

Here’s my one stop tip shop for Auditioning for idol..

1 Don’t camp overnight. If you’re auditioning in a big city, wait for the third day. If you must reserve a place in the line, get a mate to do it for you. People who spend the night on the street in the freezing cold tend not to have the best voices in the morning.

2 Pace yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of the day, but don’t throw all your energy away running around the big room.

3 Pick a song that tells the judges who you are. A song that showcases what you can do. Show off with your voice, but don’t hit a million notes all over the place like your favourite RnB singer. Find a melody and stick to it. This is so important I’m going to make it a point of its own..

4 Find a great melody and stick to it. Quality of tone and timbre is what’s important, not how great you are at trills and harmonic runs.

5 did I mention you should pick a song that tells the judges who you are? Think Shannon (grassy) Noll. He’s ace, he’s not the best singer in the world, but he picked songs that showcased him to a T. Working Class man? Shannon. What about me? Shannon. All for love? Shannon. He chose songs that you think a guy like that would sing, songs that were coming straight from his personality.

6 Sing a song that you can make me believe, Sing a song that you believe. Make me believe the words you are singing. There’s more to singing than hitting the notes. It’s about connecting emotionally with the song and conveying that through your voice. Make me cry, make me get goosebuumps, make me laugh, make me believe that you wrote the song about a time in your life! Am I making myself clear? Think of your loved one/mum/dad/sister/deceased loved one when you’re singing, sing the song with them in mind, put some passion and energy into it. Passion can outweigh ability sometimes. Make me believe you. Make me believe the words you’re singing are true. If you’re singing ‘Always be my Baby’ from Mariah, then sing that song to your Boyfriend, or the crush of your dreams. Have them in your heart as you sing the words, and the emotion will come out, trust me. If you’re singing “Take your Mumma” by Scissor sisters – then get some nasty MILF action going on in your head while you’re singing it and the filthy thing that you are will come out through song. Am I making myself clear? Hope so.

7 Sing like you’re on stage in front of 600 people, a twenty piece band and ten cameras, because that’s what the judges are looking for. Strong voices, voices that show potential for power, and voices that can cut through.

8 Engage the judges, look them in the eye, crikey sing the song about them. When Cle sang ‘Pussytown’ at her audition, she looked all three judges in the eye like she wanted to take them down to pussytown. Connect your personality to your voice and your eyes, and engage the judges.

9 this is showbiz, so perform goddamnit!! Put on a show. I don’t mean choreography, but I do mean own the space you’re standing in and really give it stacks.

10 Have fun, If you’re having fun, then the judges (and ultimately your audience) will have fun and love to hear your voice, because it’s the voice of fun.

11 Come up to me at the audition and tell me you read this. I’d love to know who actually did.

12 Anyone who auditions with ‘Total eclipse of the heart’ or “take your mumma’ is a hero in my books. The person who would audition with those songs would be all time, and I’d love to buy them a beer..

I’d best be off but thanks for being patient with me for not posting for yonks.

See you on the idol tour.!

Xx andrewgthatguyfromv@yahoo.com