Ten things to think about, laugh at, call me a doofus for..

So I’m a bit too flat out this week to type too much – we’re live again this week so I’m trying to get that together. So here’s 10 things to type into your favourite search engine/peer to peer network sharer and open your brain..

By the way – music piracy is a crime so buy albums or artists starve, and don’t freak if you see and hear things that frighten you – your parents shouldn’t let you on the net if you’re not ready for the world from their guidance yet. Ask them first..

So open google/amazon.com/kazaa/poisoned/limewire etc and have fun with these 10 things.

1: Tower of Power

2: Roy Ayers

3: Noam Chomsky

4: Vegan

5: Capirinha

6: Herbie Hancock

7: Popbitch

8: Vice Magazine

9: Body Count

10: Breakin’ Soundtrack

Email me and tell me what you think.

click here to email. Have fun with your week!

x andrewg

Tales of whales and nightclub horror, mum and dad and a busted hand.

So I had a week of Surf adventures, whales, horror stories from nightclubs and pissed off Timberlake fans.

1: I don’t know what the f**k some guys are thinking, but in the last month, one of my close female friends, had her drink spiked. Thankfully she out of the club ok. But it was a close call. Trying to think up a punishment that’s fit for a horrific crime like this makes my blood boil.

What kind of guy leaves the house thinking “hmm.. wallet? Check. Keys? Check. Phone? Check. Rohypnol? Check!”.What kind of parents allow their son to grow up with this kind of view of females? What kind of Father allows his male child to grow thinking that this is an ok thing to do to girls? What kind of friend hears his mate brag about this behaviour, sees him do it , encourages him and allows it to happen? What kind of guy feels that the only way he can get sex is by drugging and raping a woman who has already poiltely declined his advances?

I’m trying not to vomit from rage when I type this. It’s so wrong it defies belief.

If you or your mates do or have done this to girls – be aware that though the law may or may not catch you, the universe will make you pay. Live a life of evil and, a life of evil will come back upon you. Whether it be in the form of your innocent victim’s biker uncle and some of his mates taking you on a ‘fishing trip’ or becoming someone’s girlfriend in prison, this behaviour will destroy you, and you will have brought it all on yourself. You’ve ruined someone’s life, and now yours will be ruined in turn.

If this has happened to you – call a counsellor, call the cops, call someone. This will only stop if people bring attention to it. In the meantime, be careful when you’re out and about. Crikey I’m cranky.    

One last point – not all us guys are like that. Only a few. We’re not all drug-raping woman hating bastards.  Some of us use charm and manners to woo a lady.

2:  I still can’t surf very well, but that didn’t stop me from driving three hours north with some mates for a weekend of campfire singin’-soy sausage roasting-dormitory snoring-testicle shrinking-whales out there when we’re surfing fun. It was ace. Boys away with beer and fire and surfboards. Cool.

The best thign about road trips? The compilation CDs you buy at the servo when the iPod’s batteries run flat. I picked up some pearlers.. Best Of Roberta Flack (killing me softly etc) best of The Who (won’t get fooled again!) Best of KC and the Sunshine Band (Do a little dance/Make a little love) Best of Psuedo Echo (Weren’t you listening?) etc etc etc. Great.

We also found a pub that gave us free ice with our carton of beer. Fair enough, they charged is $37 for the beers rather than $33 so we paid for the ice anyway, but it was a lovely gesture.

Surfed for two hours with my mate Liz Cantor yesterday. She’s great and didn’t mind that I still suck at surfing (just being able to get up quicker after my injury again.. but I’ll get there!)

3:I’m going to see Justin Timberlake on Friday night. I met a whole bunch of folks who went and saw it and said it sucked. They paid $130 for it. It was billed as a ‘club show’ and not a ‘dance pop spectacular’. I think they wanted him to dance and boogie etc. Remember Kylie’s ‘Impossible Princess’ tour? She played with John Farnham’s band and was ordinary. She did it because she thought that people wanted her to be real. Kylie all we wanted was for you to do what you do best – dancy fun bouncy pop. Justin, you squeezed her bum once, call her up and ask her advice. I love that you’re on the keys and the guitar all night, but find a balance between that and giving the people what they know and you’ll be all over it.

4: Given the choice of staying in on a cozy rainy morning and going out for a run/surf/spot of yoga – always get out of the house. When you’re old and pissing your pants because your hips don’t work anymore and you can’t make it to the loo in time, you’ll be glad to have the memories of upwardly mobile freedom.

5: Call your Mum today and thank her for all the breast milk/clothes/hugs/hand holding/advice/discipline/pocket money/smiles/dumb things she says and things she taught you about life. She needs to hear it from you. Today. Do it next week too. Do the same for your Dad. Thank him for the smelly farts/hugs/being your hero/teaching you cool stuff to do in the garage/ having dodgy brothers who become your favourite uncle/watching TV with/driving your smart arse self across the country on summer holiday and paying for all of your stuff forever. Call him and tell him.

No matter what you feel about your folks right now – happy/sad/pissed off whatever. Call them and thank them. They did alright for their first go at parenting didn’t they? Crikey – you can read and write and you’ve got pay tv! You’re blessed.

6: Smile at angry people. It disarms them, and takes away their power. Works a treat in road rage situations.

What’s on the iPod? Well I finally filled the bastard up so a few things had to go.. but new there is ->

Automato: NYC hip hop so underground is awesome!

Reindeer Section: ‘You are my joy’ made me cry

Beau Campbell: from Front End Loader.. he plays in the Country Band I’m in (singing backing vocals because hand’s still busted a bit). He’s written these songs that just make people weep. I love singing them with him..we’re playing again this Sunday at the town hall hotel in Newtown from six. Cryin’ Skies – it’s really Pauly B’s band and there’s ten of us..Smoky croaky songs of break up and joy. come cry into your beer with us.

See you next week with more stuff about stuff.

email me if you feel like it, click here to do it .

Tell me something, send a photo – I’ll try and write back.

adios my amigos.

x andrewg

It’s been too long.

Read on for the last few week’s adventures, and remember always that life’s too short to drink cheap wine …

He freaks – it’s bloggin’ time..

My hand works again! Yay ! Let me know if you want me to post the cool x-ray photos, there’s all sorts of metal in them now..

Damn it’s been a long time since I posted here mainly because;

a) My left hand was busted so it didn’t work at all and I couldn’t type

b) I was on tour with Idol forever.

But now I’m back and here’s a few things that I learned during my journey away

1: James Mathison is a dead set legend. When the chips are down, He’s there. When it’s 4am and you’re getting up to chat with hopeful idols on a freezing Hobart morning, it’s ok because Jim’s giong to be there. When it’s late amd you’re trying to apass the time by abusing your liver in the hotel bar, Jim’s the smart lad upstairs with a glass of Merlot, and a warm bath of epsom salts playing it cool. When you’re sick and tired of telling waiters the if there’s egg in it it’s not vegan, JIme’s there to calm the waters and organise a nice risotto for you. Jim is the best.

2: Travelling with an iPod and a pair of speakers is the best. They’re in the bag last so they’re out first and pumping out your favourites so that any hotel room feels like home.

3: John Safran is a hell of a scrabble player. I played him twice in Balaclava in Melbourne and he pummeled me on both games. Fair enough, I was three bottles of red into a lunch that ended around 7pm but he’s still really good!

4: Jet are so great live, and the Forum is such a great venue – I love melbourne.

5:  Brisbane is so great. I saw my mum and took her to dinner for mother’s day at a kick ass curry restaurant. It was great. I saw both my little brothers and Dad  too. All family taken care of except Big Bro who’s just moved back to Brio de Janero for a job, good luck David!

6: Darwin was amazing. The Mindal beach markets are so great - I ate 48261 things there and it was all time. Met a cool girl who took us off to THROB, the gay bar where we had a ball and checked a tops drag show, then we went downstairs to a place called Sinsations to watch her sister dance. Crikey  – what a night!

7: Perth was great and I loved being able to run along the beach in Scarborough and put my feet in another ocean than the pacific.

8: After travelling Australia for eight weeks we arrived at a place where not many people smile, people don’t look you in the eye when they talk to you, strangers won’t give you the time of day, smokers rubbish the streets like someone else is paid to clean it up, and people are self obessed, a place where compassion and enthusiasm are looked apon with suspicion. Yes we arrived in a place called Sydney. It was wierd.

9: I bought a keyboard (a Kurzweil) to help rehab my hand. It feels like a real piano, and I’m amazed at how much of my AMEB education I can remember!

10: Going on impromptu missions is the best. My friend and I went for a surf at Bondi the other morning, and after an hour got out because the waves weren’t that great and it was too crowded (at Bondi? Never!) so we thought….There’s good waves on the South Coast! Lets drive to Ulladulla. So we strapped the boards to the roof and in three hours, I was paddling my spaghetti arms out into the pure, clean, offshore, cliff-lined, dolphin filled waves at Rennie’s Beach. My arms were rooted because I haven’t been able to use my left hand for 8 weeks, and therefore all my mega-buff muscles (!) were withered away. We were  only in the water for an hour, and I only caught two waves, and then we drove home, but damn it was a great time!

11: I love getting texts from overseas. In one day I got a message from my Dad who was on Omaha beach, Normandy France to celebrate his 60th birthday. My father was born in London on D-Day, 6th June 1944, and coming from occupied Prague, was the frist child born into a new world of liberated freedom. General Dwight Eisenhower wrote my Grndma a letter congratulating her on having my Dad, and wrote that he would be back playing on the streets of Prague in a short while, as the allies were on the way to liberate Czechoslovakia. And then I got a text from my mate Luke who’e got a job snowmaking at Mt Ruapehu on the North Island in New Zealand. He wrote to tell me that it was 6pm and too warm to make any snow, being 3degrees above zero. So he proceeded to ride the lifts, and snowboard the mountain under his work floodlights for the next four hours, all by himself. So tops!

12: Being home is so great, I love it.

what’s being thrashed on the iPod this week?

The Datsuns, Phoenix, Speedstar, Kelis, Hilltop Hoods and the greatest power ballad compilation of all time – Ballad Power.

Hey I’ll be back after a long weekend of fun and frivolity, so take care of yourselves ok?

Tarp up, eat some vegies and have fun ok? Trust that the universe will bring it to you, and you’ll be fine!

email if you need to –

x g-willikers