So, here’s a few things I have learned this past week..

1: No matter how much you grunt and scream, no girls at the gym care how much weight you are lifting, even if it’s the whole stack. The only people who care are other guys, and take that how you like..

2: Speaking of Gyms, if you’re a guy with revolting bitch tits, please for the love of god, don’t wear those ludicrous workout singlets that let your horrid flappy man boobs flop about all over the place. You’re only wearing it to check your boobies out in the mirror yuck. Put it away.

3: I’m really on about vanity this week. Here’s another. no matter how much you think no one will notice, every body in the universe can tell when you’re going for a swim in your jocks at the beach because you forgot your togs. And when they’re white and wet, everyone can tell what religion you are mate. Put it away, or walk across the street and buy a ten buck pair of budgie smugglers.

4: After watching Brian Molko rock it out on Saturday night, I’m considering wearing eye make up. Why should girls have all the fun?

5: The cutest girls are all still at the hip hop gigs.

6: Hijacking karaoke nights is brilliant fun. Find one at a pub near you today, and start writing your name down to do hair metal ballads. I nailed ‘Wnated Dead or Alive’ on Sunday night, gave it stacks I tell you. The pro-karaoke people at the pub didn’t like it very much however, and the Frank Sinatra songs sounded funny sandwiched in between all the rock posing.

7: Living alone again is brilliant, no matter how much I miss the nightly scrabble tournaments. Walking around your house naked is worth every cent of extra rent, as well as watching/listening/doing/cooking whatever you want to. Oh, and also the comfort that goes along with knowing that they could only ever be YOUR pubes in the shower plug..

8: One naughty text message from a girl can get you through a whole week of dealing with annoying people at the bank and things.

9: The spunkiest girls are also still at the rock ‘n roll gigs, and they have tattoos and stuff…cool..

10 – When Johnny Cash sings to you ‘You can stand me up at the gates of hell, and I WON’T back down’ you’d better believe that he means it.

What’s on Andrew’s iPod this week..

:: The Darkness – Permission to Land They’re on the shortlist for the mercury music prize in the UK along with Radiohead! And ‘Get your hands of my Woman’ is the second greatest song of the year.

:: Johnny Cash- American Recordings I, III and IV – Crikey. This guy has a gravity in his voice that’ll make you shit your pants. One man, almost blind in his twilight years, one guitar and songs that will floor you. It’s produced by Rick (Slayer/RHCP/SOAD/etc) buy it.

:: Underworld-Back To Mine..When you make the call ‘everybody back to mine’ when the pub clsoes, back at your house, you put some music on don’t you? This is what underworld would play you if they invited you in.

:: Fu Manchu – The Action is Go..Dig an old school board out of the garage, drain your mates pool and skate like it’s ’77. Furious riffage like you wouldn’t believe.

:: The Cryin’ Skies – Beautiful songs about boys and girls who love each other but can’t be together. It’s now a twelve piece country band I play double bass in. Furiously trying to learn all the new songs before our gig at the Annandale on the 5th of August. My fingers hurt, but if I work at it every day I’ll get there. Country music is easy to play double bass to because there’s only two notes in every bar….