So, here’s a few things I have learned this week..

1: A guy who can’t shut up about how much of a slut a girl is, and about �what she got up to how many times with that many guys at once last summer’ is just jealous that they weren’t involved in any of it. If the roles were reversed, and he was talking about a guy, he’d be claiming the fella was a hero. Get over it mate, every one is allowed to get as freaky as they like, guy or girl, it’s all good and there’s nothing wrong with it as long as everybody tarps up.

2: I want to play in a metal band called Logistical Nightmare, except we’ll spell it Logistikal Knightmare. It’s the greatest metal band name ever isn’t it? You won’t be able to buy a t-shirt at our shows because the merch van is still in Brisbane.. There will be three guys in outlandish PVC and make-up on stage and the guitar player in jeans and a skivvy as the his is still at the cleaners. The list goes on. I can’t wait.

3: The second greatest metal band name for my metal band will be called Residual Mucus. It’s that goo that hangs around in your chest a few days after you have a cold.. We’ll write songs that sound like the coughs you have when you feel like that..

4: You can take your swearin/gat wrangling/bullet proof vest wearin/lady hating rappers and have every one of them. Two turntables and two mics is all you need. Ugly Duckling rocked so hard on Saturday night, I had to sit down afterwards,

5: The cutest girls are all at the hip hop gigs.

6: Hair metal is coming back and there’s nothing you can do about it except buy a hairband, some lycra pants, a pointy guitar and learn to riff like a demon..

7: Real Estate agents could be a little happier about their lives. I’m trying to move house at the moment and the grumpy pants down at the agent think it’s the hardest thing in the world to talk to me on the phone. Who’s paying the rent again? Wasn’t it me??

8: The Bass player from Jet is a true gentleman. Took two hits in the face from a yob who was pulling down his friends top in a bar. He said kindly ‘mate, I don’t think that’s cool, she doesn’t want you to flash everyone her tits, why don’t you stop it’ and got two black eyes for his chivalry. He couldn’t punch back because he didn’t want to break a finger and miss the gig the next night. But the black eyes made you look cool mate, don’t worry.

8b: The spunkiest girls are also at the rock ‘n roll gigs..

What’s on Andrew’s iPod this week..

:: The Darkness – Permission to Land Superb ponce rock in lycra from the UK. ‘Get your hands of my Woman’ is the second greatest song of the year.

:: Faith no More – King For a Day Fool for a Lifetime – first album after Jim Martin (original guitar player) left the band. Dark, nasty and showcases Mike Patton as the greatest rock singer ever.

:: Jane’s Addiction – Strays The band that changed everything for me in high school blew me away at the big day out, and now have a new album. Listening to it now, tops..

:: Nashville Pussy – High as Hell (still) – Corey the original Bass Player left the band after they played 100 shows in a row with Motorhead. Pity, she’s the hottest bass player in the universe. Oh. Girls with tattoos who play bass and breathe fire. Do you think my Mum would like her? I think she would..

:: The Cryin’ Skies – an eleven piece country band I play double bass in. Furiously trying to learn all the new songs before our gig at the Annandale on the 5th of August. My fingers hurt, but if I work at it every day I’ll get there. Country music is easy to play double bass to because there’s only two notes in ever bar…. If you emailled me back in April, I still haven’t got to you. Email me again huh? I’ll write back now.. just able to keep on top of the fresh ones coming in actually.. click here -> g-lo

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